Your Life

Is it time for the talk?

Q. My child recently turned 10 years old. Is that too young to have the talk?

A. Parents in the 1950s were asking this question, too, leading the National Education Association, in collaboration with the American Medical Association, to prepare a book to provide some answers. The questions that were addressed in that book are relevant today, as are the responses.

How can I get my boss to stop looking over my shoulder?

Q. My boss is a complete micromanager – I feel as if I might as well not even be there, since she rewrites all my letters, and is constantly looking over my shoulder. Is there any way to get her to stop?

A. Don’t count on it. When subordinates feel harassed and diminished, they get defensive – either passively or aggressively. The boss becomes a fixation, a target. You can’t change her. But you can shrewdly manage yourself in a bad situation.

A display of support

"Behind and prior to every vocation to the priesthood or the consecrated life there is always someone’s powerful and intense prayer: a grandmother’s, a grandfather’s, a mother’s, a father’s, a community’s; This is why Jesus said: ‘Pray to the Lord of the harvest,’ that is, God the Father, ‘that he might send workers for the harvest!’  (Matthew 9:38) Vocations are born in prayer and from prayer; and only in prayer can they persevere and bear fruit.” – Pope Francis

She says: “Our house is full of his junk!”

Mary says: Tim is a hoarder – our house is beginning to look like one of those TV shows, and I can’t get my car in the garage. I don’t know if I can live like this – how can I get him to get rid of his stuff?

He says:“I’m a collector, not a hoarder.”

Tim says: I am a collector, not a hoarder. I know where all the elements of my collection are. For example, I have an amazing group of vintage surfboards in the garage; they just need a little sealing and waxing to be really valuable. Mary needs to lighten up.

How can we “spilt the check” so everything is fair?

We went out to dinner with friends and did not drink – so we didn’t think we should have to pay as much of the share of the bill as the other guests, but someone told the waiter to “just split the check.” How could we have handled this – we ended up paying $30 each for two hamburgers!

It can be difficult to split checks fairly without antagonizing anyone in the process. To avoid any conflict you could talk openly with your friends about sharing the bill before going out to dinner.

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